I never realised how many reasons there were for someone to want to search for another person when I first started this site four years ago.
It has been an uplifting experience as this is a chat service and many people tell me about their feelings and experiences.
Some of the searches have been very sad and others full of happiness but in the majority of cases I felt it had been well worthwhile.
Whilst most are for people in the UK looking for someone in their own country or in the Commonwealth , a very important minority are for those living in the USA and overseas who are looking for connections in the United Kingdom.
If anyone was to ask me which search had to be the most interesting or rewarding it would have to be a dead heat between a lovely family in Florida which I may come to soon and a very special lady much further north in Kalamazoo.
I was delighted when Katrina Ann Kennedy agreed for me to tell the world about her story so that anyone else with a similar problem would go ahead and obtain the same help as she has done. Her name and home town are ficticious but being a bit of an old romantic myself I couldn’t resist the temptation to keep them in character with her background.
I have had no experience of North American girls in my life except for the rich and demanding ones that I once had to deal with in my past travel agency work.
So it was always a joy to hear how much more in my searching the ones over the “pond” would talk about themselves than most of the people in the UK.
My experience in helping Katrina made me feel that the youth of the States are some of the best in the world which was a fact I had been none too sure about earlier.
The more she talked about her problem the more I felt I wanted to tell everybody else about this caring person.
Katrina came over the Internet to me as someone who deserved to be happy and I am going to quote her story most of the time in her own words as nobody could express her own feelings better than she could. Its a real privilege to be able to do this and in the end when she sent me some family photos the real Katrina was actually much as I imagined her to be as a real fun loving attractive person. When I had to speak to her on the phone about her search she spoke to me in a very quite and refined manner.
Katrina did not have a very settled family background and saw little of her father but was undaunted and was involved in both a university education and work in the hotel industry in the city of Detroit. She befriended someone from the UK who was an engineer who also travelled between her home town and Detroit and whose family lived on the south coast of England. His name was Jason.
This is Katrinas story in her exact words as she tried to get a closure on such an important part of her life.
I was working at the time in the Hilton Hotel, down town where he would stay and that is how I met him. Unfortunately the whole first year that he spent in the US, I was the only one that befriended him, except for the people he worked with, but he said that didn’t count.
So you asked how it ended, I cant say without saying it all.
Got some time to spare? Cause I’m a hell of a writer. Do you believe in love at first sight?
The first time I saw him, my jaw dropped, and I never even talked to him.
I saw him again and again, but I wouldn’t talk to him.
“I thought why would a guy like that want to talk to me”
Well one day I finally did talk to him and couldn’t hold back anymore and I guess I was more charming than I thought because he instantly responded with interest.
We just started hanging out everytime he was in town, just as friends though, because we were both dating other people actually, sounds messed up I know , but we were just going to hang out on the town and have fun.
I mean he never went out anywhere else the whole time he was here as he had noone to go out with.
I had to explain to him who Frosty the Snowman was and The Gringe who stole Christmas etc. We just had some really good talks and good times together.
But I guess it was obvious for sometime though, to other people too, that we were attracted to one another, although we never did anything because of our other relationships (Jason had a girlfriend back in England)
But one night ,walking through a lit up Christmas park (If you’ve been to the States you will know just how big Christmas is here) well something happened, intimately, between the two of us, but I ended up stopping that situation because I was confused, and well you know how us women can be sometimes.
So,the next time he was in town, he bought me flowers and came to my house, very romantically, but we had a long talk and I wanted to remain just as friends. He agreed. And then it was fine, we would still hang out and have fun, but just as friends.
And then he went back to Detroit and sent me a letter inside a Christmas card saying that he actually wished things could be different and that he was holding back when we had our “talk”.
But he said that if I really wanted to be friends, that he would respect that and that he was going to return after the new year and that I would see him again.
HE NEVER CAME BACK
At the time he knew I had a small condition, cervical cancer, that hadn’t spread yet as it was detected early and I had had several surgeries to have this removed, although so far it was unsuccessful.
I became somewhat hopeless and was afraid it would spread.
I told Jason about this about a month after we had met and everyone knew I didn’t want anyone serious because of this.
So Jason never came back, and I was willing to deal with that. I thought he just didn’t care.
I tried to convince myself he was just another jerk, but he could never fit that picture. He was an angel.
So months went by and I still couldn’t forget him.
WHY? BECAUSE I LIED WHEN I SAID I JUST WANTED TO BE FRIENDS.
Here I was, worried about my health, all in love with this guy from England, who had a girlfriend anyways. I had no choice but to lie.
So during this time I moved and changed my phone number just because I like the change periodically. Then one day I was in hospital having a DNC and conization surgery and was away from work for two weeks and apparently he came back to see me during that time and I hadn’t known about it. He had no other way of contacting me other than to go back to the Hilton where I worked.
It was a confidential matter with my co workers why I was out of work for so long, so when he came there I just wasn’t there and he had no idea why I wasn’t anywhere to be found.
I never knew of this until literally 3 months later when I was talking about him to a girl I worked with and all of a sudden she said “Oh, he was here a few months ago, Didn’t you know?” She assumed we were still in contact.
So that was it. Then I put it all together, he was here but couldn’t find me, and I never even knew.
Now ‘Im doing good healthwise, and I later found out that Jason went back to England just a month after he came back. And that’s it.
Our real relationship had only lasted 5 months but it was the most intense 5 months of my life. Now here I am much later as healthy as the next and I still cannot forget about him.
No one else compares to him at all and I just can’t explain it.
Maybe Im just another fool. I dont know, I’ve dated other guys and stuff, but I just can’t bring myself to care for someone else the way I cared for him.
I’m not just feeling it with anyone else, and I do try to let the sparks fly but there just isn’t any.
So, this is the purpose of my search, I want to find him and know he has moved on.
I’m sure he has, but I need to know that for sure. I need to get this off my mind before I can ever commit to someone else.
I mean I’m not getting any younger here. I just want to know that much and see how hes doing and if he’s OK. Nothing more, I don’t expect any miracles.
I know I had my chance and blew it.
Ive never been rejected before or had to deal with someone breaking my heart but I guess it’s just my turn now. I just wish I had been at work that day, although that operation technically saved me.
I just can’t help but to wonder what would have happened if it had been scheduled another time.
I just feel I need to give it another shot. Who knows and if he is still single and interested I’d do everything possible to be with him even if it meant moving out of the country.
Sounds dramatic I know, but people always say that feelings like that only come once in a lifetime, and for some maybe not at all. I truly believe I once met my soulmate here and if there was a chance, believe me, geography would not stand in my way.
I told an older woman I know about this that I have known for years whom I call the grandmother I never knew and she said “It’s better to live having regretted something you have done than to live regretting something you havn’t done.”
I apologise for having told you all this, I’m sure you didn’t need to know but it feels good to get it out and it also feels good to know that someone else there knows..It for some reason makes me feel closer to Jason almost.
He is one in a million truly and I just pray all the time that he is happy and that God watches over him always. I just can’t describe the impact he made on my life and I doubt he will ever even know.
Sometimes I think he was an angel sent during a time when my life did seem like it was becoming hopeless.
Katrina had tried quite a few search sites to try to locate Jason before contacting me a year ago and I was able to find all his family in the Brighton area but could not speak directly to Jason as his work had taken him to Italy where he also had relatives,
I was able to get a message through to him and was glad to learn later he had been in touch with Katrina in the USA.
Jason has since been living with his girlfriend at a new address and Katrina has managed to settle in with a local person and in fact they are planning to buy a home together.
We are left to ponder if either of these relationships will be as good as if Katrina and Jason had been able to stay together or if Jason wanted to put it to the test as he already had someone else in the UK but it is important to help people as much as possible.